It's easy to overlook yourself when there are so many responsibilities: children to take care of, aging parents who need assistance, a partner to give to, our fur babies who depend on us, a job that demands your time and attention, and a home that reminds you the laundry isn't getting done by itself.
I realize I haven't even scratched the surface of the many ways that our time is divided, doled out and accounted for. It's hard to give to ourselves when we are so busy standing in our masculine, bull-dozing through the to-do list because so much depends on you .... and if you don't do it.... who will? Does that sound familiar? I know I've heard myself, not only say this out loud, but that inner critic's voice, always judging me by how much I get done and how well I do, is waiting...just waiting for me to drop the ball on something. I've made sure I was working harder, smarter, faster .... checking off those to-do list items like a boss. By the end of the day my worth had been measured by the number of check marks, and the drive and ambition I had to make all the things happen. Exhausting!
You know what I've realized? Being a caretaker and being nurturing are two entirely different things. Care-taking is immediate and result-driven. It is doing, fixing, handling, and taking action! Care-taking is hard work. Nurturing, on the other hand, is a soft and gentle state of being. It whispers encouragement. It cultivates, teaches and provides hope and belief. These two could not feel more opposite but when we're in the thick of life, surrounded by expectations, it's easy to overlook the contrast because of the conditioning we've absorbed in taking care of all the things. And quickly...so those things don't fall apart. All this takes so much masculine energy!!
It's natural to embrace both the masculine and feminine. We all carry both of these energies, but we live in a very masculine-driven culture so it isn't surprising we've forgotten how to access our feminine side with as much ease.
But what if we were to slow down, breathe deep and take some time to remind ourselves what it feels like to stand in our feminine? What if for a moment we closed our eyes and set aside all the assertive "get-it-done-ness" and simply focused on the loving attentiveness of our feminine side? I visualized sinking into the comfort of my grandma's bosom where no troubles existed. It was in doing this that I realized where we lose sight the most is when it comes to ourselves.
My body remembering what it actually means to be a nurturer starts with knowing I am deserving of self-care too. I am worthy of regularly giving to myself. We could all use a little more self-love. So today I want you to let a tender voice remind you that it's okay to let go of the wheel of the bulldozer and just sit with your feminine. Sit with the words "nurturing" and "caretaking" for a moment so that you remember the vast difference between the two. Allow the caring nudge of self-awareness to show you why it isn't possible to pour from an empty cup.
Choose you.
A great way to give to yourself would be to join us for our very popular discussion-based, small-group ZOOM Series on creating inspiration in your life. The 4-session series happens Tuesdays in August! $50 for the series! Limited to 6. Ask a friend to join you too! Click on the link for all the details!
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